Not Everybody know you so it would be delusional to claim nobody likes you. Again, what did you do to people for you to have that feeling that nobody likes you? Several years ago, if I can recall well, a woman in my village committed suicide because she felt like people don’t love her enough, that is very tragic and unfortunate because, at her funeral, her kids cried a lot. So at least her kids loved her a great deal.
Why do you want to be liked so much? I read somewhere that the problem with being liked is that you can’t measure if someone likes you enough or not. The writer in that article argues that “at what point can you say that someone likes you enough”. As long as someone does right by you, don’t bother so much about being liked. We all want to be liked to an extent but wanting to be liked too much is a habit I only see in people with personality disorders.
There is this scene in ‘Fences’ I watched many years ago where a son asks his father why he didn’t like him a lot. The response is epic.
Who said I have to like you?
If you want to be liked that bad you might end up being a people pleaser who can’t take action because he wants everyone to like him. Sometimes in life, you will have to take drastic action or rather a radical action to your advantage and such actions might piss off a few people. If you want to protect your peace of mind, you might need to cut off toxic people. The people you get rid of might not like you after you do that. Any simple decision you make such as taking a side in an election, might mean you are the opposite of the people who took a dissimilar decision. The people on your opposite side might look at you as an “other”.
Would you rather be loved, feared, or respected? I chose all three. Cultivate enough love and also be wild just enough. If you want to be loved so much you might spend your life looking for love. You won’t have boundaries because you want everyone to like you. You end up taking a lot of bullcrap.
I would rather be respected than liked. This is because I value respect more than being liked. As a man that is what I value more, to be respected and not loved. If I was a woman may be I would have wanted to be loved and desired.
Respect is not a basic human right but I still value it. Even when I was young and without a lot of achievements under my belt, I still wanted to be respected. I was entitled may be but we value different things.
I once asked a lady what she likes in a man or what would she need a man to have to shag her. She told me to like someone is a different feeling and has nothing to do with shagging. In other words, she can like a man but not shag him. She might not like or even love a man but respect him enough to shag him.
This is one thing you will notice about liking or disliking. You might not like a certain musician but respect his talents or achievements. You might not like a teacher but respect his skills and abilities in imparting knowledge. You might not like your parents but respect their hustle. You might not like a man as a lady but respect him enough to jump into bed with him.
It is also the opposite, as a person you might be cool but as a politician, musician, or artist you might suck. To be liked is still important, if someone likes you even a little bit, they might give you an audience that they won’t give someone equally as talented as you whom they don’t like. It is an easier ride uphill when you are liked than when you are not liked.
Do you create enemies knowingly or unknowingly?
Do you jeopardize relationships by manipulating, gossiping, or abusing friends, family members, business partners, workmates, or neighbors?
Are you an immoral winner by any means?
Do you judge people from different groups (sexual orientation, religion, tribe, race, or profession) not the same as yours?
Most people who think they are not liked enough do these things.
If you don’t do any of these things and you just live your life and don’t meddle in other people’s businesses, then most likely no one will have a reason not to like you.
If people don’t like you, you can’t force them to like you. You can’t force a friendship.
Many people don’t like being rejected, they have an ego. When you reject someone they take an ego hit. This is very true when dealing with people who think they are unique and can’t be rejected. They overestimate the value they are offering to the person rejecting them.
Most feel rejected when not liked. What can I tell you about that? Rejection is part of the game and it happens to the best of us.
Do you like everybody? I bet not.
In the same way, not everybody will like you.
If you want to be liked more. Improve your likeability. Speak to people better, with a kinder voice. Shed off any bitterness you may have and get rid of vices or any bad behavior you might have that is pushing people away from you. Learn to accommodate different views and people and the world will open up to you in ways that you have never imagined.
If you ever felt like someone doesn’t like you and you need them to like you, ask them why they don’t like you.
Do it boldly like this.
Lastly, stop looking for people who don’t like you or signs that people don’t like you. If you put it in your mind that people don’t like you, you might go around noticing enemies even when there are no enemies. Those haters might be in your mind and not real. Stop telling yourself things that don’t reflect reality.
Nice time ahead!