Body image issues taunt most of us. Perhaps you were told from a young age that you are not attractive enough, or someone planted a misconception in your mind about the standards of beauty, which are often promoted by movies and mainstream media as unrealistic.
I have spent some time in the gym, modelling world, yoga, and advertising. These are image-conscious spaces that rely heavily on branding and use beauty as a means to an end, selling products or services. And I am thus very much aware of how fragile most people’s egos and pride are when it comes to self-image.
Very few people have healthy self-esteem and a sense of self-worth. Even those who posture and try to act like they know their self worth get very defensive and emotional when you poke their inflated egos.
A positive self-image and true self worth don’t align in most cases. You will find guys with enough value, good education, abilities, confidence, and proper people skills who rather present themselves in modest means. They don’t talk up their abilities and rather downplay their worth.
On the other hand, you will find guys with nothing much going on who are good at posturing and dressing up and come across as haughty and might deceive a number of people who don’t know any better that they have value. They don’t have a positive self image as such; they talk big and carry themselves with swag.
To have a proper self image, you’d better know what you are about. An overweight man with bad fashion who looks at himself in the mirror every day and can see a protruding belly cannot claim to be in shape. He can feel good about himself and have confidence, but he might need to work on his weight or change his diet if he wants to really feel good about himself.
Be realistic with yourself and set achievable expectations.
The main reason most people have a poor self-image in this generation is the overconsumption of social media. We see fit gals with tiny waist and BBL or silicone breasts and buy into that. Your mind cannot differentiate between those edited images and real people. After gluing those AI Photos and edited photos for a while, you come to associate them with the ideal standards of beauty.
The same issue affects men. After watching reels of male models with creatine-enhanced muscles and whey protein-powered physiques, you come to associate those physiques with the ideal standards of beauty.
In reality, most people wake up with bad breath, bad hair, or a wrinkled face, sleep deprived, and they need to make themselves presentable again.
Work on your esteem
Figure out what is making you have a poor perception of yourself. If it is negative, friends who speak bad things into your subconscious, cut them off. Keep off energy vampires who drain your soul with negativity, and start looking for emotionally supportive friends you can pour into.
Watch out for friends who are not fulfilled with themselves and who start projecting their insecurities onto you. If you keep them around for long, they will eat into your soul and lifeblood. Pour into those who pour into you.
One thing about esteem is that it is very annoying to have low self-esteem. People with a bad esteem tend to welcome abuse into their lives or tend to be overly self-conscious and insecure around people. No one wants someone like that around them. It is creepy to have low self-esteem, so work on it.
If you already have value, know your worth, and how to communicate it so that people can notice it too. I was taught early on as a student of social arts that there nothing like ‘real’ value. It all boils down to what you can communicate and how people perceive you.
If people don’t consider you of a certain calibre or threshold, you have some work to do in your presentation. Better know what you are about and address people’s concerns about your value. Think highly about yourself and be confident of your future and yet still stay humble enough to realize you don’t know everything and you are just a mere mortal.
Don’t think you are a god. No man is.
Don’t think you are unique. We are more or less the same people.
Don’t think you don’t belong. You do have a place in this world. And you can contribute to the future based on your capabilities and talents.
Don’t put others down. Be a motivator and a source of light.
Don’t overly compare yourself to other men or women. We are each unique in our own ways.
You will slowly build your sense of self-worth and willpower. And you shall be happy when it all comes together. This is something you achieve with time.
Wishing you a prosperous year ahead.
Slade.
