Comparison is the thief of joy…
Some retire at 40, others start at 60…
You are likely to come across these hashtags on social media, which is a reflection of the inner feelings of millennials.
A lecturer once told us in a community development class that if we don’t surpass him in life then we will not progress as a society…”you should be better than your teacher” he said.
Of course he was right, a great student is one who outdo his master. I will add that as long as he doesn’t bite the hands that fed him. It is very common for people to turn against those who show them the ropes.
Psychology say that if you are in mid 20s or 30s and worried about your career, money status and social connections then you have some symptoms of quarter-life crisis. Please remove the 30s from that statement and let’s just remain with the 20s. 30 is close to retirement in this era. I don’t know if that crisis even exist in the first place. What was popular for a long time was the midlife crisis which I have no idea about because I am not in that age for it.
I was talking to some lady who got married in early twenties and she told me that she did that because she wants to be done with kids and paying school fees by 40 so that she can start having real fun without family worries. Some ‘smart ass’ who will see that lady having fun and buying sports cars at 45 will label her ‘a midlife crisis’. Not knowing that she has taken care of all other aspects of her life…she is a smart woman definitely.
The keyword in this quarter-life thing is ‘worry’. The guys who conducted that research should have told us what about if you ‘want’ those good things, would it be still a crisis? considering that the people who do these researches about youths and teenagers are old people who lived in a different generation from ours.
I am 26 years and of course still trying to analyze the quarter-life feelings that I have been experiencing. I think it is bullshit to call it a crisis. I mean any young person will want a good career and will try his or her best to secure a rewarding job or put up some business. In the process of doing that, there is likely to be worry, sweat, blood and tears. That is just life for me and not really a crisis.
What guys have been expressing on social media is some form of intimidation which comes when you compare yourself with the next person and that is just destructive, it brings you worry and maybe give you that quarter-life crisis.
This crisis must be the reason betting is so famous among the youths. Gamblers and psychologists are good at one thing and that is ‘feeding on your fears’. They know you want that million dollar so bad and you won’t mind losing 200sh to get that money.
Are you finding it hard to build solid connections and have real hommies around you? It is a normal feeling and it just takes time before you form your clan. In 20s you are still discovering stuff about yourself like each day you are just experiencing a part of you that you never knew you had.
Experiencing any losses son? Some people call them lessons, and actually that’s what they are, tough lessons. Life should be happening a lot at this stage. Lots of heartbreaks, disappointments and such stuff. I believe I know all about losses by now. Damn, I have lost a lot, especially girls. I have lost so many good girls due to my stubbornness…please come back if I lost you.
Actually I would be married by now but I guess there is something better than being a husband out there for me. I would make one lousy husband if I was married. Slade Jeff has been lady luck from a young age but never fell in love, “you are a lost soul” my hommies would tell me. I also believe that marriage should come in mid 30s onwards…so tuache stress za kuoa na kuolewa, you can’t marry with all that quarter-life crisis on top of it…lol
When it comes to careers, I believe that in Africa, most people have jobs and not really careers considering that our choices are not many or we think so. My friends almost went crazy when I left my job to concentrate on making a blog. They would tell me how they wish they were working for that company I was employed in considering that it was a big firm. “How will you pay your bills?” they would ask. I understand their concerns considering that this is not America where you can make a living playing professional paintball. Even the most talented sportsmen in Kenya have other jobs to keep them going. In Europe, you can just be a sportsperson and still live well.
What my friends or many young guys in 20s don’t understand is that at our age, you have a lot of choices and potential to execute just any idea. Jobs are good of course, they have their benefits but when you don’t have many responsibilities, you can always try other ideas and see how things go. It is not a crisis that you try many things, it is just a stage of figuring things out or maybe it is a crisis if you let it lead to confusion, stress and unnecessary worries.
You shall have your circle with time. I find it hard keeping people around, if not a few hommies I have known for a long time. I am very empty inside and detached as f**k. I have been learning how to build passion and form lasting relationships. My dating coach advice that I should have a clique by 35. My current league is full of playboys and cads. However, being a man I’ve been advised to take responsibility for all the failed relationships I’ve had. “You must be the problem” not her…lol. It is okay, I understand that despite there being two people in a relationship, when shit gets real in an affair, it is us men who ought to take the blame, actually I am slowly accepting that as I grow and I am just cool with it.
And to summarize it all…this quarter-life thing is a transition not a crisis…