I will start by saying every girl is almost a lesbian.
For real…okay let me rephrase that and say every chic has some percentage of lesbianism in them. They kiss each other, hug each other tightly. Touch each others hair. Go to the washrooms together. They call their friends girlfriends etc. And it is normal. It is allowed. Females can get that close with each other.
All the above no straight man can do without being called gay. None. You can’t kiss another man however much you are close with them.
Men don’t walk in twos…my father once said.
He was just trippin’ I guess.
If you don’t have a girlfriend son, you are gay? He would tell me that during my college days. In fact he would ask me a lot if I am gay because I would tell him I don’t have a chic but that’s just how open we were with each other.
Okay lets get at it now. We have seen men being so close with each other than ever before. Guys can comfortably refer to their friends as “my boy” without being judged….ati huyu ni boyz wangu. It is just homosocial not homosexual.
Since I like rap so much, let’s reference by checking what hip hop has to says about this.
These are niggas that I fuck with….or…I don’t fuck with these niggas. Those are common phrases in rap…shit sounds gay like hell.
All the above is still allowed…BUT how faaaaarrrr?
I know you are thinking by now this nigga Slade must be gay…well, I don’t care what you think. I just write what I see around me. But you can try me with your sister, I might just give you your next of kin in a few months…lol.
People misunderstand love, including me. A cousin of mine once told me he likes me, I laughed the whole day. I found it funny. That is how conservative we Africans are. I can tell that men like me but the way I look mean and rough, they wouldn’t even dare show me some love. I prefer women’s love. Men find it very hard to compliment each other because they are scared of coming across as gay. It is okay my brother, compliment your cousin or your bff, he will understand. On a serious note, guys would tell me something like “you are tall” or “you are dark” or “you got slim” and I would just be okay. I would just be like whatever nigga because that is normal socializing.
It is okay to like your friends BUT….how faarrrr? as long as it is not sexual I would say.
There are these men we call ‘a man’s man’, someone like Idris Elba or George clooney or Sean connery. You know the type of men other men look up to. They are considered what a man ought to be like. Well, our current generation of men lacks strong male figures that we can look up to like our forefathers. Women have been complaining on how sensitive and soft we are…I tell them to shut the fuck up. How do you except us to be hard when you cook for us fries for supper…lol.
Who do we blame for promoting homosocial behaviour? hollywood.
Who do we blame for popularizing hookup culture and one night stands? hollywood.
Who do we blame for misleading us on dating? hollywood hollywood.
Anyway, I am just using it as a scapegoat but if we are to blame one thing for misleading us on relationships, I will just say hollywood. Although art is just a reflection of what happens in the society but naahh, hollywood movies are known for being explicit and we playboys and bad bitches look up to them for inspiration. Every series you watch has a gay couple, it is just too much gay stuff in these movies….arrghhh!
A friend of ours was complaining in a WhatsApp group about gay people, we had to remove him from the group for a few hours because he was just being emotional and unreasonable. It is an open world and we can talk about anything.
It is okay to be close with your boyz, it doesn’t mean gay. For me I find it difficult to even hug another man, just that shoulder hug and it doesn’t last two seconds…lol