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COOL

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Yay or nay

How cool are you? huh

Do you know you could be having a better life as a millenial if you were just cool enough? You are probably being left out because you are not suave and sophisticated enough. Ever texted a hommie and he just reply with one word ‘cool’. Damn, that is a calm nigga right there. There is no pressure. He responds like he has seen everything before. Don’t even think you can fake cool. If you are bushy it will always come out no matter how much you hide it.

You should be keeping cool even in tense situations. Actually it means having been there done that attitude. A devil may care persona. So let’s take a cool test to see how fun and just laid back you are to be around? If you fail this cat you ain’t cool.

  1. Do you ever get invites only parties or events? if no, that is a major red flag, you need to check your calibre. You are still playing small leagues. When was the last time you even went for a pool party in some cool parts of town? A friend of mine is always like “I attend invites only” Slade. I just laugh.
  2. What are you putting on right now? If you are a dude, does your belt got G’s on it? If you are a chic, does your top has two C’s on it? huh…if you ain’t on designer or under armor most of the time you are still bushy (pun intended).
  3. Your clique? Who is on your level? Anybody noticeable son? only commoners?? You will have to be more socially savvy if you want to join the cool kids crew.
  4. Which new word do you know? I mean apart from ‘lol’ and that ‘IKr’ nonsense? And what is your accent and diction like? If you can’t speak like Idris or kevin hart, you ain’t made it yet.  I know some of you are already catching feelings by this point. But I don’t give a shit so let’s go on.
  5. Which school did you go to? I mean if you went to some normal public school and then proceeded to a village university like me, son you just went to school but not class…lol. You think knowledge will make you cool. You will have to have lived that life for you to be considered cool.
  6. Does it rub off on other people? Are you a trendsetter? When you say something or pull a stunt does people around you pick up on it and start using it?? If they do, then you are influential, probably charismatic. If they don’t you are boring.
  7. What’s new on the streets? Are you updated on some of that?? Or you are just ignorant? There is nothing cool about being unaware. It is only cool if you know but it doesn’t really matter. Remember I said cool is like you have seen it all. That kind of aura.
  8. Do you have paper? The green matters when it comes to being cool. Being broke is just difficult. You can’t be cool about it.
  9. How fresh are you? Do you smell good? Some designer cologne will do. This is for chics. As for men, your normal odour is okay, I will add that as long as you showered with body wash.
  10. Are you hot? A chic once told me “if I am to date a dude he just has to be hot”. I was impressed. I also think that is what disqualified me…oooh. If you are a chic, are you that fine…lol. I think all my readers look good.
  11. What do you drink when you are thirsty or when you hit the club? Some gold bottles or Guarana? And which club do you even go to? B club or some normal bar in cbd? Another friend of mine told me again “jeff I don’t do town haki”.
  12. Which hairstyle are you rocking now? Fohawk, undercut, some cool dreads…baby locks etc.? It better be something chic and urban if you want to look cool. Get your beard game on son.

And that is all about it for now.  I don’t want to probe you further. I know some of it sounds like crickets. I am just reporting what it takes to be cool. You can let me know if you failed the cat, because I also failed it. And I am just cool with that!

Have a cool week!

Slade Jeff
Slade Jeff
I am a zen, I love this life plus a lot of wine..I will keep your days filled with interesting content. I am also pro-brands, I tell stories about them at a fair price, let me put in a good word for you! WhatsApp me on +254712911633 for business.

2 Comments

  1. […] but if they have to drink, they have to swallow some dope stuff. A girl got to have some standards […]

  2. Thanks for finally talking about >COOL – The Comedy Blog
    <Loved it!

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