Dating Rules Means Nothing (In my 20s)

Why do guys make these rules just to break them all the time? The 20s out here have some of the most unrealistic and funny rules you will ever hear. I have heard things like;

  1. I don’t do short chics or guys? have you ever tried…
  2. I don’t like light skin or dark skin? lol you are a black racist…
  3. I don’t have sex on the first date? yes you do, you are just putting a political face
  4. I don’t do side chics or side guys? Really

Okay, what made you say all that bullshit? One or two bad experiences. You have a soft heart if you get discouraged that easily. A great dater will just keep an open mind and explore the dating field no matter what shit comes his or her away. sometime guys say these things just to keep a political face but in reality they do these stuff or would do them if no one they know will find out.

I have seen guys do things they warned me about and I am like wtf. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen folks break their own rules or double speak. But you know what? don’t be surprised when you see your friends breaking their rules all the time, they were just having a good moment when they said those silly rules. People make rules sometime for convenience. Because something suits a particular situation, it will be said or done but when there is no reputation risk or a save face situation, I swear guys break these rules. I stopped giving myself many rules, I just operate like a loose canoe nowadays. And keep room for surprise. Besides I like being free, it is a free world out here and with many rules you just imprison yourself.

Why make rules that you know you might break? Some of these rules will just make you feel like you failed when you break them. And they are not even worth the stress in most cases. As a guy in your 20s, you are probably going around meeting people and dating them and trying to feel out different personalities. I am not sure your rules are based on the right context. They may deny you experience in future.


Rules make you uptight, without you even knowing. A chic once told me “dude you are so uptight, I wonder how you survive”…damn that was an eye opener. I believed her. She is the most socially savvy chic I have ever seen so when she said that, I just knew she was right. What she meant in normal language is that I am not free enough. Of course I am quite open minded but It is like I didn’t show it. It was a place where discretion was key.

Unakaa mtiaji with some of these rules…for white people reading this “mtiaji” is something close to a snitch…like someone who is difficult on something just for nothing. Or rather someone judgmental. A hypocrite may be.

What do you thinkĀ  a man should be like? Your dad or grandpa or your celeb crush?

What do you think a woman should be like? Your mum or sweet aunt or that celebrity singer you fantasize about?

You are boring with some of these useless rules with no proper reason behind them. Or rather you have a bad dating history that led to you making these weak laws. But you can change your dating history by starting to find the right guys to date that will give you amazing experiences. That will change your mindset and make you have better rules in future. But for now, don’t make petty rules that will deny you all the fun and juice out there.


Dating can be dangerous at times and you can’t totally rule out rules. Ignore some things at your own peril. Date a psychopath and you get stabbed because of a minor issue. Date a highly jealous person and you will find yourself in constant fights. Date a sensitive person and you will find yourself hurting them even without knowing. Date a bitter person and you will find your energy draining away. And the list goes on.


By Slade Jeff

I am a zen, I love this life plus a lot of wine..I will keep your days filled with interesting content. I am also pro-brands, I tell stories about them at a fair price, let me put in a good word for you. Contact me through for business.

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