Vibing chics with English or Swahili?

Unless you are one of our local rappers or some bongo rock star, I would politely suggest you stay off Swahili, the so- called national language might shortchange you in throwing vibes. I know you might feel patriotic to use it when mackin on chics but that language is a language barrier. It will lock the door instead of opening it. I suppose you are in Nairobi, if you live at the coast, just go ahead and use it but a majority of Nairobians have very bad Swahili so I won’t really use it if I want to grab myself a lil momma. How many chics are fluent in Swahili anyway? How do you even start throwing shots with it. Let me tell you, Swahili is good for general knowledge, just know it for the sake of interacting with common citizens but when it comes to serious matters like business and getting a bae, please use the queen’s language. It is more effective, but only if you use it well. English need some great delivery for it work. You have to know some unique words that will set you apart from the common speaker.


Am I saying English is easier than Swahili? No, in fact it is more challenging. I have worked as an editor, checking grammar and punctuation and boy it is not a walk in the park. Following grammar rules and everything that is required is just hell. English can be very petty but I love words, so I will tell you to pick it if you want to get some classy chics. Most girls are better speakers of English than boys of course. Chics are generally better communicators (no, they are not, they just speak a lot). And some of them, the boujee ones will shy away from using Swahili so you will have to use what they prefer. Or you can use Swahili to get them out of their comfort zone. That can still be tough if she doesn’t really know much Swahili.

I don’t know if Swahili lines will be effective especially nowadays that we vibe on social media and WhatsApp. It is quite a hustle writing it in the first place. Google and Facebook have tried to accommodate it but I still don’t need all that hustle of having to translate it. When you change a vibe from English to Swahili, it just lose its meaning. Swahili can really water down a vibe that would have been more catchy if delivered in English, you think I am pulling your leg? Okay, take a look at these two lines delivered in both languages by the same nigga with a heavy baritone.

Onyango: “Damn baby, you got a pretty ass, that’s a big future right behind you, y’knahmean”.

Onyango in swahili: “Weuwe, na uko na matako kubwa, ukitembea ni kama unarudi nyuma”.

Omg, the swahili one just sounds like an insult.  You don’t want to be ‘insulting’ chics if you want to get laid my nigga. I know swahili speakers think otherwise but just for the sake of easy communication and quick escalation of the dating process, avoid burdens that will slow down your vibe like language barrier. You think a slay queen have the time to translate and process your complicated swahili vibe? naah.

Back to English, I have noticed some people have very heavy English, quite complicated. I like writing just simple English so that people can easily get what I am saying. If you are going to use English, choose simple and easily understandable words. If I need a dictionary to understand your texts, just spare me all that hustle girl. I can’t be hustling to get money and you are also giving me a hard time with sophisticated English…we are good?

At the same time it is just ‘fraud’ to mix Swahili and English when speaking. Just pick one and stick to it.



There is only one tribe in Kenya that speaks English as their native language, we all know it. That is not something debatale. Do I come from that tribe? None of your business. Anyway, if you discover a chic is from your tribe or upon inspection you can tell she is from your county, I think using your mother-tongue will give you a head start in your seduction. Why bother yourself with English when she can easily come through if you just throw a few village vibes? Most Kenyans like people from their communities, some people open up more when you speak their language, not in a bad way though. If she is not responding well to English and your mother tongue can save you, just pull it up and see if it will work. Actually it will make her open up more. And I am sure you want her to open up right?

And what is your mother tongue again? If you are French or Spanish speaker then just say “bye English”. I swear those languages are so romantic and will get you laid in a second. Even if she doesn’t understand them and you happen to speak one of those, just use it. They are just yes yes yes all along. Drop a french word and a girl’s heart just melt. Drop a Spanish word and she just think of babies, like despacito.

Nice weekend

By Slade Jeff

I am a zen, I love this life plus a lot of wine..I will keep your days filled with interesting content. I am also pro-brands, I tell stories about them at a fair price, let me put in a good word for you. Contact me through for business.

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