Boys! what if she sits on your face?

Well, what I knew for a long time was ass grabbing or spanking or lap dances or her sitting on your lap etc. But I have heard the new thing is her sitting on your face with all that behind! damn, I don’t know where that came from. I must say the human animal is quite creative with stuff. I have been reading some articles online and apparently it is considered bold if a chic sits on your face. And I don’t know what we are supposed to do when they sit on our faces. I just don’t know…who does? Because I am yet to experience that type of stuff, I would love to by the way. What has happened to me many times is girls swinging their behinds all over my face. And I loved that stunt because it means they are trying to get my attention. I welcome attention from women with my arms and mouth wide open. Just ready to grab and swallow them.

So I don’t know how a girl will end up with her ass all over my face…you see something like ass grabbing or spanking is so simple. You might be hugging her and then slide your hands to put a firm grip on her behind. she can also do the same to you. I have had girls try to spank me when I get naughty, which I do all the time of course. But I am yet to get this one of her putting her body weight and ass all over your nose, mouth and eyes. And what if she farts…arrgh. Okay, I am very adventurers as a person and I like experimenting with stuff BUT before someone put her booty on my face, I have some rules she got to follow. Or let’s call them precautions because all risky sexual activities have to be done with some safety measures at hand.

Do you wear condoms? Yes

Do you test with your partner? Yes

Do you go around giving blowjobs to every chic or dude? I suppose not

So what do we do with this one?


Yes, no way. You can’t put a plastic ass on my face because we all know plastic make people suffocate. You will take me to an early grave that I don’t want to go to yet. I am not ready to face my maker considering that I haven’t achieved my purpose in life. The last thing I want is people reading my obituary and the cause of death is written as ‘died out of suffocation from a fake ass’. That ass has to be genuine if it is going on my face (pun intended).


I prefer natural things. If it is manufactured, it better have been made in the gym. I don’t mind asses that are acquired through squats and treadmill. That is genuinely yours.


A girl sitting on your face is like that game you used to play when you were kids where you dip your head in a bucket of water and guys time how long you can last with your head under water before you run out of breath. Or you hold your nose like someone nose bleeding until you can’t take it anymore and you are almost running out of air. If you are going to put that behind on my face, you can’t do it for more than 30 seconds. Actually that is even long, let’s say 15 seconds if you are a curvy girl with the weight of a true African woman. I just can’t hold onto buttocks on my face for decades. This is something I am not even going to gain pleasure from probably. I am just doing it for experimenting purposes. And neither are you gong to get orgasms by sitting on my dark face…naah. So you can’t do it for hours.


It just has to be one hell of an ass. The mother of them all. One that can cover my whole face because I have a long face. I can’t risk my life only to have a small ass end up murdering me. It will be a shame. And even when I reach heaven or hell, wherever I will find myself in after suffocating to death, my forefathers will be ashamed of me for having died because of just a small ass. It will be an embarrassment to my entire generation. So, you better be having some thick ass if you are going to sit on faces of niggas.


On top of that, it has to be soft. I don’t need one that is hard like a rock. It is probably going to leave fractures on my nose and bruises on my face when the ass sitting session is over. My friends this is a very dangerous activity and has to be taken with all precautions. Think of 70 kgs on your face??? It is the booty plus the body weight. Not all sexual activities that guys engage in are safe nowadays…naah. Do you remember daggering? Doctors warned guys that if she daggers on you so roughly she might fracture your penis…yeah, your dick can break nigga. And some did break for real. It is like raw dogging or threesomes. If they go bad you get messed up like shit. On this one it will be your nose breaking. And you won’t be able to hide that shit because your face is visible for the world to see. And you need your nose to breathe and live. Am I scaring you? May be I am. Or I am just being cheeky but just remember ‘no plastic or rock on your face’ period.

Take good care of yourself people.

Nice weekend.

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By Slade Jeff

I am a zen, I love this life plus a lot of wine..I will keep your days filled with interesting content. I am also pro-brands, I tell stories about them at a fair price, let me put in a good word for you. Contact me through for business.

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