I don’t know if that heading makes sense, what I want to put across is that depression is like the new killer, especially among young men. Be it drugs, alcohol and other destructive addictions, all that stuff is out of depression. Not even depression but just poor stress management tactics among the young generation. I believe that you should survive your twenties, if you can go through it and come out in one piece then you can handle the rest of your life.
The twenties seems to be confusing for young men. They are discovering that life is not really what they thought it was after all. When growing up, they imagined a certain future, and they are here now, past 27 and with a different reality. And to escape that reality, they indulge in weed, vodka, and bad relationships. Or I can say they are just confused about how to handle adulthood, on one hand, they are young, on the other hand, they are expected to be adults. Adults with no much life experience. Young adults meet real adulthood.
Stop Ruminating to Avoid Depression
I am past 27, it’s when you are considered mature in some parts of the world. In Kenya, it is past 25 I suppose? You must be done with college at that time and on your first or second job. You don’t know everything really in your twenties; you have no family apart from your bros and sisters, and cousins and thus you haven’t seen much life unless you grew up fast, some people were fathers and mothers at 20, those are legends. Other than that, whatever you think you are going through can’t be that bad. When you talk with the 40s guys, they tell you your concerns are just minor disturbances and nothing much to worry about. Ruminating over small things is one of the ways youngsters are getting themselves deep in depression.
I am yet to be depressed, even if I am depressed I can’t know, I don’t know what that thing feels like. I hear you feel tired, you don’t want to go out or socialize, you feel left behind, etc. these are signs of laziness my people. There are serious cases of depression like postnatal depression and that is something worth putting someone down. You have no business getting depressed anyhow as a man in your 20s. Men are the pillars of society and we can’t afford just losing it every time a small problem comes our way.
You got it bad with depression
As I am writing this I am listening to an Usher Raymond song called ‘you got it bad’. Yes, you got it bad when you all you think about is how things are against you. You have some control over the things that happen to you in this life. Some shit can get thrown at you but at least you have control over how you react to all that. Life happens to the best of us but people move on. And issues will never stop no matter where you are in life. The 20s trouble is not worth getting depressed over unless you have a major loss. You see these things;
Conflicts with your peers
These shouldn’t be worth killing yourself over. They can easily be fixed if you want to. However, these things;
Losing a loved one
Getting a child
Bad health/constant illness
These are some grown man shit and you need one hell of a strength to handle these stuff. When you find yourself in these situations, you better speak to the people around you and get some support. Don’t let these things eat you because they can crush you seriously. I have lost people around me before and it shook me for a few weeks. I never knew I could be moved. I have always thought of myself as a tough mf. Losing someone is no joke.
As a man, you need to handle three aspects of your life to live happily and free of stress; relationships, money, and health. If you have all these in place, there is no way you can be stressed. And that’s why I said the last group of things like losing a loved one can put you down because it attacks everything you need to be happy. If you lose people, money and your health, you are in a bad place. Avoid losing those things. And in case you do, get help asap!
Women cry, men die
Women talk about their issues, they cry, yell, curse and let it out. That’s why they live longer. I rarely hear of cases of women committing suicide. What I hear from the media is men murdering themselves when the pressures become unbearable. This is because most men don’t talk, they lack meaningful relationships. Women might be wordy but they let it out and get over issues faster than men.
However, I see men going out a lot; drinking beer and meeting women. I can’t miss a chance to hang out with my male friends and talk about things. I am very talkative but I realize most men don’t like talking as such, and even if you ask them if they are okay, they will tell you “yeah, I am good”. I always hope they are as good as they claim. There is nothing tough about keeping things to yourself and then getting depressed later on. You can avoid depression by;
Talking about everything including nothing.
Watching bad thoughts and stopping them before they become big.
Meditating every morning; learn how to meditate from youtube.
Avoiding being cornered; have many sources of income, get more skills, etc. brokenness will make you go crazy in this town. Just avoid being in a helpless situation.
Don’t use weed to meditate, I see guys using marijuana to meditate, it is not the best recipe. Natural still works better in anything.
Enjoy your 20s young homies. You will be getting family and stubborn baby mamas in your 30s, the real stress is coming. For now, have fun and evade this depression thing. If you need a deeper article on how depression can be handled, check this out. or this.