Whether you want to create a harem of hot women or a boys club for your golf sessions, my tips can help you turn into that social rock star. Do you have a problem with people? No more shall you run out of guys to chat with and do business with. Anyway, I am just hyping myself up. However, if you want to create some links and be a networker extraordinaire, you can use these golden tips.
You have to like people
Like people, as long as you don’t enjoy being around people, you will often struggle with getting along with them. This is the same with anything; you won’t be great at something if you don’t love doing it. Have fun and be passionate with people and they will mirror back the same emotions towards you. Even the bitterest people turn warm when they meet a passionate individual
Let people talk about themselves, don’t talk about yourself if you want to know people. The psychology behind that is that the more you let someone talk about themselves, the more they feel like they know you. It’s strange but true. I once met a girl and we would chat a lot on WhatsApp, and she was chatty from her messages, one day she told me she always feels like she knows me even if she only met me once. Don’t think about networking when you are doing it, just be more outgoing and have fun with it, you will run into all kinds of people. And don’t be quick to judge, let people tell you their good stories. I enjoy listening to people’s stories, maybe I will write someone’s biography someday.
Have a value at hand
What are you offering to this world? Your sense of humor like me, your great programming skills, your digital marketing skills, your community development ideas, etc. it’s hard to be meeting people when you have nothing to offer. Value separates the real from the rest. People want to meet others who can be of a great addition to their lives. It doesn’t have to be monetary value, it can be something as simple as your knowledge of the city. I might want someone who knows the best restaurants in town, the market with the most affordable goods, the club with the best services, the best garage, you can be that guy. Some guys offer consultancy on such services.
There’s that question people usually ask, that of what do you do? Well, you better be doing something with your life, even if it is traveling. You can have the best ideas on how to organize a kick-ass road trip.
Man is a social animal by nature, so why are you outside the community? Even monks live in groups.
Forget about social media, it has helped me meet some of my friends but the best way is to just meet up with people in real life. You can join the local gym, dancing classes, and yoga groups. If you want to meet people, you go where people are.
You can get deep into these activities and even make them your skills, be the dance class teacher. Start acting and take a small role in some of our local films. I used to think I don’t like big groups until I tried them, I am very loud when I am in these group classes. I didn’t know I am that outgoing and competitive. You can strive to master things that you started as hobbies. Be the gym class hero.
Work on your vibe
As much as I said earlier that you don’t have to talk about yourself to bring people to your side, you also have to say something. Master the vibe, to speak well, you have to be a conversationalist, make fun statements and empathize with people…let people tell you all their details before you say how you can help them with whatever you have. Only a handful of the population is good at vibing, that’s why most people are still single. But it doesn’t have to be so.
I am writing this article as I read a book on how to influence people and make new friends by Dale Carnegie. I am halfway through it and one key thing I have picked is that you don’t need to be a chatterbox to make new friends; all you have to do according to that book is smile more, remember people’s name, let people talk about themselves, etc. it doesn’t say buy 5 bottles of vodka to strangers you just met. It is a great book, and most of the things written there are pure gold. You can download it online and start reading it too.
Improve your mindset
This is important when you are going out to the world to meet people. A great mindset manifests itself on how you act and handle situations. You can tell someone with a self-improvement mindset and one that is stuck in awful ideologies that don’t work. Being good with people is very difficult, especially Africans. They are very hard-headed and way too aggressive. If you have a mindset of just enjoying people and good conversations, you will have an easy time with people, as opposed to when you are stressed out and make it a big deal
I have just said Africans are hard-headed; now that’s not a good mentality if I am trying to know them.
You don’t have to know everybody
Unless you are getting into network marketing, you won’t have to know everyone. If you are starting in the field of socializing you might have to know everyone but as you advance, it won’t be necessary. However, you will have the skills to easily relate with almost anyone that you have acquired over the years. It is good to know people, but it is just a hustle knowing everyone…more people more problems. Unless you are a very sociable person, you won’t need to know everybody.
Just be patient with yourself in your networking journey, it takes years to build a solid reliable network. I am still creating mine, it is not easy dealing with people and it’s not hard either, you will find your balance with more practice.
Social skills are learned unless you are a natural like me.
To new friends!