Father-daughter relationship is stronger than father-son relationship. Most of the happy father’s day messages are coming from women to their dad’s. Men are waiting for mothers’ day to send messages. Most men like their mothers. A good woman in a relationship is one who had a strong bond with her father. A good man is one who is a little bit of a mama’s boy.
The first word a child learns is “mama”. However, some kids learn “papa” first. That’s odd but it happens. Some fathers are on the front line for their kids, whereas some just pay bills and call it fatherhood.
What does Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan share in common apart from the same first name and being legends? They had very strong father figures who were immensely concerned about their careers from a tender age. It is not that they were so talented and that’s why they became mega successful. If you watch their documentaries, their fathers were beasts who stood behind them and guided them early in their careers.
Most men in this generation lack strong father figures considering that the family unit is broken. With the rise of single parenting, we have adults who never knew what it was like to have a dad or a mum. However, many people in your life can play that father role, it can be an uncle, a mentor or a teacher you had growing up…don’t complain about not having father figures, you can pick up mentors on your own.
Early fatherhood is also common, most of my friends had kids while in college, and they struggled with the father role considering that they were rookies. I have always been careful to avoid premature fathering of kids. However, in one way or another, my friends who had kids at a young age have somehow managed to just be responsible fathers. And I ask them how it is like and they say? It’s just God bro. well, that is risky but if you fathered kids while in high school or college and you stuck around. I want to congratulate you on this fathers’ day for sticking around and not turning into a deadbeat.
Deadbeats are spoilers, they are the main reasons for these daddy issues. However, before you shame deadbeats, just know that there are crazy baby mamas out there. They can give you hell. Most of my boys who have baby mamas tell me not to be too quick to judge men who are called ‘deadbeats’ on social media. They say some of these females can give you hell if you have kids with them. And if you observe keenly, the men being called deadbeats are just normal guys who provide for their kids. They just fell prey to over-demanding women who are hard to please.
A crazy baby mama will have you paying for a lot of unnecessary things and if you refuse you will be called a ‘deadbeat’. It is not always the men’s fault when they are absent in their kids’ lives. Some men would rather go to the bar after work than go to a noisy home.
Above all, be in your child’s life even if you are having issues with the mum. A woman can’t teach a boy how to be a man, be there for your sons. Issues will always be there but that doesn’t stop your bond with the kids. And as kids you should also try not to choose parents, your dad is your dad unless he is just not there at all. If he makes an effort to be in your life, learn to appreciate that, some kids have never seen their fathers. Be glad you saw yours. Most men, let’s say 80 percent wish well for their kids, and won’t refuse to help if they have the capability
Every day is a fathers’ day for those who reproduce babies. You get all types of calls from your wives and baby mamas; repairing leaking taps, unblocking sinks, buying kplc tokens, and whatnot. That’s your work bro, you chose that when you decided to have kids.
I am still nobody’s father and I don’t see it happening anytime soon. For many young men, opportunities to be a father might be many but take it slow, it is not a joke from what I have heard and seen. But do you know why we are here? Some cavemen in the 17th century decided to have sex in sub-Saharan Africa and that lead to this generation. It is also your duty as men to continue that lineage. Don’t fear to pay school fees and being woken up in the middle of the night by baby cries. It shall come and go. Our parents are over it.
To all the dads! Happy fathers’ day.