Well, it happens a lot. I was once listening to a talk show, and the host said, “Honestly speaking no one wants to see their ex move to a better person or get richer”. I felt different towards that; I don’t feel like an ex or people I fell out with should be doing badly. I harbor no harsh feelings. I would want someone happier and doing just great. This is because my fallouts are usually because of a miscommunication or just conflicting mindsets; it has nothing to do with wealth or jealousy. I would want someone’s hustle to get better. I don’t pay people, so let them get paid.
I was talking to a female friend the other day and she told me she likes my blog topics on relationships. I get a lot of that from people, many people like it when I write about relationship issues, so I asked her if there is something she wants me to write on. She told me I should touch on former lovers who get richer after you break up.
I was curious, and I asked her if she has any experience; she told me her ex is wealthy nowadays, and she was with him when he started; maybe she would have beared with him and stick around. But again, she said she has no regrets since he evaluated the guy on fidelity and found out that he has wondering eyes. He felt like he will be a cheat and a headache in the future, so she kicked him to the curb. The guy went to amass loads of cash and is now spoiling his current girlfriend with no limits.
She feels like she made that guy, and another lady is reaping the fruits…lol. Many people feel like they made someone and got nothing from it. When I am writing for people, they tell me how they taught me how to write, and I should charge less or even give them my services for free. Okay, as Jay Z says in the ‘lost one’ to people who claim they made him, “go make another Jay Z then.” Well, I tell it to people who feel like I owe them, “make another Slade Jeff then”. Nobody taught me how to write; I started writing on my own…anyway, we are not here to talk about me; we are on exes who got better—the ones who got away.
Another friend of mine who is a famous writer says he has let good women pass him in the past because when he runs into his ex-girlfriends, they are usually driving big cars and living well. An ex-girlfriend of his once took him to her crib to show him what she has achieved since they broke up. He thought she would give him some booty, but Nah, she took him to her place, spoilt him with good food, let him sleep on the couch, and offered to drive him home the following day in the morning. He says she was flaunting all her luxuries on his face with all that show and no action.
Well, it seems exes are bragging out here, with a face of “look at me now,” who got the last laugh, bruh.
Now, let me deconstruct it with my knowledge and see what to make of all these.
Nothing stays the same, and trust me; not many people can see a diamond in the rough. And most people can’t tell someone who will be beneficial in the future but is currently going through a rough patch. When they want to sign rappers or give movie roles to young actors, it takes a very sharp director or a music executive to tell who is going to be shit, so it is usually a big chance they are taking on that young talent.
If you are risk-averse like most people, you won’t just give a chance to anybody in your life lest they bring chaos to your peaceful life. You will tread carefully with something as crucial as dating.
I look back, and I am glad I was careful not to date some people or befriend others; I have no regrets. But again, maybe even if I would have made the wrong choice, I would have learned something from it. It is only by making mistakes and getting burned that you learn.
On choosing partners, many people are bad at it, especially women. Women can’t tell a good man even if their life depended on it. And most men are also terrible at making decisions when it comes to women; they think with their lingam. They pass on some cool, beautiful women for some hot crazy ones. They would prefer the gals on Instagram as opposed to a quiet, beautiful librarian.
You date whom you have to, not whom you need. You might be in a place emotionally where you need someone who is in a certain way as opposed to whom you presently have. You might want an adventurous, thrill-seeking partner to do kinky things with. In contrast, your current partner might be reserved, conservative, and rather too safe. Despite them being great people, you might overlook them. Then they get more affluent and better in the future when you are single.
It Would help if you had an Abundance Mindset
You don’t even need an abundance mindset; you need absolute abundance. It is easier said than done, but if you are a person who keeps exploring their options and actively meeting new awesome people, you will have no business thinking about your exes. The moment someone starts thinking of how better off their exes have become, I just know they are on a scarcity mindset. Alphas have options and don’t dwell on the emotions they shared with their exes several years ago.
There is someone way cooler than your ex out there; you are not just looking hard enough. It should be your ex thinking of how sexier and happier you have become, not the other way round. My friend thinking about her rich ex-boyfriend is a beautiful black empress with chubby cheeks, such a happy girl who speaks very well. I know she has men all over her. She doesn’t need that ex who made a few Kenyan shillings. My other writer friend is a notorious playboy who will probably never settle down; he finds more joy in amassing lay counts than keeping a wife. He doesn’t need the good gals he let go.
You are the prize, that’s how you should be thinking. Your ex lost you, not the other way round. And never look back once you are done with someone, you will turn into salt, you will become salty. Looking back is usually disastrous for any growth.
All the best!