They say it’s impossible to have absolute control over a situation. There is stuff you can’t control, but you need to assume full responsibility if you want to improve in whatever you are pursuing. That sounds like some tough love to me. And I am not so much into tough love, heck I am not even into love.
Responsibility is something I don’t know how to explain; at my age, I am yet to be in a position where a group of people needs me to do something serious, or they perish if I hesitate. Whom are you responsible for? A bunch of employees, kids, wives, a tribe, a country, or just yourself.
Let me tell you the dark side of responsibility. It comes with blame. If you are to tell someone, you will be responsible for them in any way. As a man, this can be a woman you promise to love, care and understand and then you fail. What becomes of that is nothing but pure blame.
“You said you would do this if I give you my love, but you didn’t.” That shows you didn’t honour your part as a man, and thus you failed in your role. Men in society are expected to be 100 percent responsible for everything that goes on in that society. Women’s hearts are being broken, men to blame. The economy is crashing; it is the men who are not working hard enough.
Responsibility is a man’s thing because it is part of leadership. It is the men who lead things. A man can choose to be irresponsible. He can choose lethargy, ignorance, and all kinds of unproductive vices at his own peril.
However, I am not sure a man should take 100 percent responsibility. You might take a lot of blame for things that are not even your fault. You can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders in the name of being responsible.
There is a balance here, don’t be careless with your real responsibilities but again, don’t be quick to assume responsibilities for everything. Not every decision is yours to make. It is not always your call.
You have to know your responsibilities and be clear about them. The others around you also have to play their part. When responsibilities are not clear, that’s when blame gets shifted around. If one person was to pay for drinks, then the other will pay for Uber.
Be free to delegate responsibility. Responsibilities can be too much for you, and assuming 100 percent responsibility can be draining. I would say it is part of your responsibility to delegate some duties to those you are interacting with if you are in any form of relationship.
Being in a leadership role does not mean you will do everything. However, the blame might ultimately come back to you. You are the leader anyway; you ought to have been keeping tabs if the people you are responsible for are doing the right thing.
This is what I hate about responsibility. Once you assume it for a group of people or one person, you can’t escape it. It will be better if the people you are responsible for are also accountable in supporting roles.
Responsiveness is not part of the responsibility. If you sent a text to someone and they don’t reply, they are irresponsive, not you. However, you should have sent better texts. Text messages or any form of communication that go wrong can be your responsibility if you were not clear enough or delve into bad topics.
I realized that if you were communicating with someone and they are in a bad mood, you are not responsible for that. They can’t blame you for that. If you sent them a text and they didn’t get back to you, well, you can’t really know what’s going on on the other end, so you are not responsible for that.
If the stock market is crashing, well, there is nothing much you can do, so stop worrying unless you are in investment banking. A man got to know his place in society and play it. If you want to be responsible for everything, you will go crazy trying to catch up.
It is a good thing to be responsible; it is very manly, I would say. It looks beautiful when the things you are responsible for goes well; it shows that you are winning. Well, I think I am responsible for myself at the moment.
Nice week ahead!