You can be broke when dating and pull it off, but being cheap doesn’t always look good on you. On the other hand, indulging in overspending and buying overpriced items to prove you are not broke is not a wise thing to engage in. There’s a delicate balance between being broke and cheap you can maintain in your relationships.
I am always of the opinion that you should live below your means, save as much as you can, and put your money in the right places. Don’t lose your money they say.
Money is not the main factor in dating, it doesn’t sustain a relationship unless it is a relationship based on monetary exchange but it is usually a little part of dating. Here’s a simple rule to follow while dating when it comes to money;
Don’t date an impoverished homeless slug who leeches off you.
Don’t date someone deep in debt who is unable to get out of it and is a bottomless well of financial mess.
Don’t date someone who cons people off their money to survive.
Don’t date someone who engages in criminal activities to survive, that’s how he earns money.
Don’t date someone who has his or her eye on your wallet. A digger.
Finally, don’t date a cheap guy or be one.
The last point is a gray area, and what I intend to look into today. If you are young, let’s say between 18 and 26, we give you a pass and cut you some slack if you engage in cheap activities while dating like going for an ice cream date instead of a dinner. You still can’t afford a dinner or it seems out of your budget.
When you start dating, you might want to engage in cheap activities like going for a cup of tea instead of pizzas and burgers or just going for a walk as opposed to drinking expensive cocktails. You may want to start slowly as opposed to going big in the initial stages. It is a better precedent to set in a relationship.
As a man who has hit his late 20s or in his 30s, there are some expectations women want you to uphold or you want a woman to have certain standards if she is coming into your life. If you were to start doing cheap stuff, it might be a turn-off to her to an extent.
These are;
Wearing cheap clothes to a date or having an unkempt appearance in public
The clothes can be cheap or simple but look good. Some guys are laid back and casual. However, you don’t want to be in worn-out shoes, faded t-shirts, or low-quality jeans. Throw out outfits that make you look like a homeless man. I have heard from my Ugandan or West African friends who visit Nairobi that Kenyan men dress very badly when going out. In other countries, men dress well while going out to clubs or dates. Do something about your fashion if you want to see results. Buy some cool jackets, blazers, designer jeans, and some quality boots, and get a fresh haircut. If you have a bad face or skin, see a dermatologist. Take care of the basics and you will be fresher than a majority of men.
Borrowing Money from Women Or Men You Just Met
I don’t know why you would do this when there are loaning apps you can borrow money from. Anybody who wants to borrow money from me and can’t use a bank or Sacco or a loaning app is telling me they have very bad credit and is someone I should stay away from at all costs. You are not even cheap when you do this but you are sending a very bad message to someone who is yet to be friends with you. I don’t know any quality friend who will entertain this when trying to make a new friend. If you haven’t had a thing with someone, just don’t start asking for money out of the blue. If someone has known you for less than a week and you want to borrow 1k or 2k from them, please don’t. it sounds cheap.
Expecting to be ‘Treated’ too soon
Demanding a big treat or a huge production when someone asks you for a date is just outrageous. It is sort of an entitlement. Making ultimatums such as ‘you must treat me’ first if we are going to be lovers or friends just kills the meaning of a relationship. If a man or a woman must do something ‘monetary’ to be with you, it comes across as a transaction and not a relationship building. A guy or a lady can treat you at some point if you will be having a thing. It is okay when it happens in the later stages of a relationship.
wait till it gets here!
Don’t crave to be ‘treated’ so badly that the first person who shows interest in you must ‘treat’ you. Just hold your horses and be patient. Don’t be hungry.
Those are the three sorts of cheap stuff things I have seen guys engage in in dating. You can see that I didn’t put things like going for a cheap date that cost $4. To me that is okay, dates are not meant to be expensive for you to ‘connect’ with someone. However, when you start making silly demands such as ‘pay for my Uber first’ if we are going to meet ‘or send me fare if you want to meet, it becomes just off-putting. However, as I said before, if you are young, let’s say 20 or 24, then maybe a guy can pay for your Uber or fare.
It is not that the people who engage in these cheap behaviors are low lives or broke asses trying to make ends meet. Some of them just have money but they don’t want to spend their money. Most wealthy people are very stingy with their money too. I know guys who can have $500 and ask your $10 because they don’t to use theirs, they want to use yours. They are users or value suckers who don’t give much in return.
A cheap guy or gal probably has a poverty mindset and always insists on buying the cheapest thing. Sure, love doesn’t cost a thing but being a cheapskate is a turnoff.
If you have been friends with someone for many moons, you can always tell them to do silly things for you. At a high level of friendship, you can tell a friend “buy me a cup of tea” in a joking way and he or she won’t think it is cheap, if you have been friends for years, your friendship is more than a cup of tea or juice. Don’t just let it become a regular thing, asking friends to buy you drinks all the time is smooching.
Happy dating!
