Dating in your 20s can be a lot of fun. You have a lot of time to run around town as a young man. No major commitments yet, just a job, some school, or a business if you started one at a younger age.
Dating as a single man in the 30s is a totally different, enriching, and interesting experience. The game can be easier if you spent enough time in your 20s honing your game, conversation skills, and fundamentals.
You are way likely to have an easier ride with dating in your 30s if you had amassed some experience in your 20s. However, you can still struggle like most men who spent the first decade of their lives in isolation or avoiding dating and building wealth or skills.
By 30, you have built the skills you need to earn big bucks and may be investing for your 40s. If you didn’t marry in your late 20s or early 30s, you find yourself in a sweet spot as a mid-30s or late 30s bachelor.
You’ve probably witnessed your childhood friends get wives and kids, and some get nasty baby mamas or divorces.
You are the cool, sexy single uncle if you maintain yourself well. You are just starting to win.
Dating is way more fun at this age group because you are not the emotional mess you were in your 20s.
However, dating in your 30s as a single man has a couple of challenges. Here’s what you will get and how to tackle the setbacks you will encounter.
Women expect you to be rich or have achievements.
In your 30s, you can’t rely on the unemployed alcoholic game. To be a catch in your 30s, you need some wealth in knowledge, or a few assets, or a mid-level management job if you are planning to get a stable girlfriend or get married.
However, if you are not yet well established, you can still be the sexy loser and run a lover type of game. I have met men who married in their 40s because they were still hustling in their 30s.
Young gals in their 20s expect a little achievement from you at this point. You can give them life advice if you have some experience to look back on.
Why are you not married is a simple question you will get regularly if you are still chasing tail in your 30s. Shouldn’t you be settled down at this point?
Marriage is tough, and the economy is even tougher is usually a golden response. You can tell the gals a story of how you almost got married in your mid 20s, but the relationsip went sour, or you lost a job, or something bad happened. Then covid came later on when you were in your late 20s, and you hit 30s without a wife.
You have a lot of stories at this point to tell, so find a good reason why you are not married yet. And even disqualify yourself as a marriage candidate if you can.
Young gals in mid 20s or late 20s who run into you will try to lock you down. You are a good target for marriage at this point, so find a way around it if you are not yet ready for something serious.
Africans, or most people, generally marry in their late 20s and early 30s.
It is significant to note that in your 30s, you know better, have been through a lot, can judge character better, and make an informed decision on whom to marry if you want.
They also have a clear purpose and a good understanding of themselves at this point. You know yourself and what you are about. Your likes and dislikes. Your taste in women and everything in between.
You are not a young man still trying to find himself.
Keep Dating if you are Single in your 30s
This is the best time to date if you are in shape, confident, mature, and fun. Young gals in their 20s look at their agemates as boys, so an older man coming to them is a big plus.
One thing to remember is to be fun and not boring. Old does not mean boring. I particularly don’t think old men are boring as such because I have come across some very fun ones.
30s is still young, so find activities that you like, such as martial arts, yoga, art exhibitions, and join clubs that keep you young. Men hit their peak masculinity in their 30s. They have better aesthetics than men in their 20s.
The worst look is that of a defeated, beaten-down by life, old man. It is more pathetic than a soft, emotional young man. At least a younger man has time to figure things out or turn his life around.
Women cut you some slack when you are a young man still trying to find his way in life. But not so much when you are an older man.
When should you have kids if you are still unmarried in your 30s
This is a tough one. In your 30s, you are young but not so young. If you are planning to have babies and build a family, then the late 30s can work or early 40s. It is a bit late, though.
If you get your firstborn at 40, by the time he finishes high school, you will be 58. By the time he’s done with college, you will be 62. That is quite old.
My dad is 60 right now, and I am 33, which means he had me at 27. He is having a bit of fun because he doesn’t have school fees to pay at his age. I don’t have a kid yet at 33 and will probably get one in my late 30s or at 40, so I am a bit late. Although I already have gray hair but my parents don’t. They are worried I am aging faster than they are and with less money.
As a man, you can have kids at any age, even in your 50s. You only need money and a good wife. Plan for kids if you will need them because they are darn expensive.
The 20s are usually for exploring and skill-building. The 30s are for investing and putting up plans for the future. In your 40s and 50s, you raise kids. In your 60s, you retire and mentor the younger generation or your grand kids, or help mankind in anyway you can.
However, life is full of twists and turns, and you try to make it work right and remain positive each day.
As you date in yours 30s, just be careful with the gals you keep around in any capacity, whether as friends with benefits, casual lovers, or galfriends, they can easily become your wife. You are most likely getting burned out from dating and cooling off. You can marry a gal you didn’t intend to marry simply because they are around you longer than necessary.
Whereas in your 20s you were sure you don’t want a wife yet, in your 30s you are entertaining the thought of having a wife or even a kid so be careful of the mating partners you choose. A part of you wants you to settle down or reproduce.
Above all, don’t get to have fun, even more fun than you did in your 20s. It is still a game you have to play. Play it right.
Nice time ahead, Slade!
