Do you have your walls up high? The brick walls.
Don’t let your guard down.
Let your hair down.
Are you a tough nut to crack?
I am not easy to get to.
Are you hard to please?
Come harder, this won’t be easy.
These are common phrases that describe difficult people or rather those who seem super tough and too strong to influence. In fact, these types of people seem unattainable.
There is a very crucial soft skill taught in the field of social arts called ‘attainability’. It is very hard to balance according to many teachers of social arts because whereas you seem open and approachable to a certain section of people, you are just way out of the league to another group of people.
And the trick here is to be constantly watching how different people react to what you say and how you interact with them and adjust your behaviors accordingly, I would say it is tiring to some extent.
The people who seem hard-to-get for you are just on the beck and call of other people. And it comes down to the value you present to various people out there.
If you are hard to get through, you will notice people easily give up on you if they were trying to date you or be your friends. Maybe you don’t pick calls, or you come across as haughty, or you tease too hard or you make condescending remarks.
If you do those things to highly confident people with a thick skin, they are likely to shrug it off and give you a dose of the same, tease you back, take 6 hours to reply to your text, mildly tease you and get into negging.
However, a low esteemed or rather a sensitive person might not like your line of teasing or that you flaked on a date with them. You end up looking like a douche with disregard for other people’s emotions when you do those stuff.
You can do the same action to two different people but the reception will be different. An emotionally strong person will look unmoved by your teasing and backhanded compliments, they can even laugh it off.
People are always pressing to see where your soft spots are and when you get over-reactive to certain actions, now they know what to press to get you worked up.
You Won’t be Easy Either
The key is to balance i.e remain attainable just enough that you don’t push prospects into auto-rejection. When I first read about the concept of attainability especially in dating, I found it quite interesting because the people you think might be out of your league can sometimes feel like you are just too unattainable and on a higher level than them based on how you act.
You, therefore, end up with two people who think they are way out of league for each other. They can even walk away not getting what they both want from each other.
On the other hand, the people you think are below you socially might sometimes see you as not that savvy and out of their league as you think. They end up treating you just like another guy and you can be shocked how come they don’t notice your stripes and calibre.
The key is to balance. If you see someone feeling way too hot for themselves and acting as if you are below them, you need to elicit some value and look like someone important or another tactic is just to play dumb all along.
Don’t brag about being too hard to get, you are just human and not an emotionless robot. Accessibility is something quite important in your relationships.
You can remain a hard target socially to scare off value suckers and emotional manipulators, which is a good way to remain hard to get through. However, you can’t put your walls high like those of a maximum-security prison.
You Better be Worth It
At the end of the day, are you worth all the hustle? That is what it comes down to. You can’t claim to be hard to get through and yet you are not holding all the value inside.
You see, it is hard to get into Harvard but once you work hard enough and manage an admission, you are bound to find some invaluable training that will tremendously help with your career.
It is worth all the sweat and the struggle.
You will come across a bunch of guys who claim to be hard to please but they are not just giving any value back. That is just bluffing not being hard to get through.
What are you being difficult for? Some things are also petty, let’s say someone asks you for a pen, and you try being difficult, that’s petty. Very unnecessarily difficult.
It is the same way as bargaining, you can’t bargain everything unless the price is just unreasonably high. You can be hard with your money. I won’t blame you for that. It is money that people want out here.
You can also be hard on your time. Your time is precious and of importance, if you are doing great things.
As we conclude, it is all relative, the things that seem out of reach for one man are just a call away from another. A lady might seem hard to get through for you but for another man, she just melts and turns into butter.
Some people are indeed hard to get through, it is not easy with them. Many people say bosses are difficult, I don’t know that. I am not a fan of bosses but people in positions of power hold a lot at stake so they tend to be hard dealing with.
Real men don’t wish women or people in their lives becomes easier to deal with, they just level up and handle them or get them out of the way. That’s the way of the superior man.
Am I hard to get through? Not as long as there is money involved, I just crack when you mention paper. I mean as long as there is something in good for me I don’t see a reason to be hard but we are not even talking about me either way. This is for people who are hard to handle, the stubborn oxes.
Don’t be too stubborn for nothing.
Till next time!