Can you cook? A common question in dates and relationship talks. Men can’t stop talking about how they like women who can cook.
Women can’t stop talking about how they don’t want a man who doesn’t like eating.
Some women will actually take it very personal if you don’t eat as much as they would like.
I would say I have heard men ask this question a million times on dates, even on fictional dates set up on TV programmes.
What is it with cooking? Is it a cultural thing or some part of the mating ritual?
Do people like eating more than we think?
I am not a gourmet. That’s why I have never been a big guy. When I was young, my mother would cook a lot, cakes, all types of fishes and meat. But I remember not having an appetite when I was young and even as a teenager.
At some point, I wanted to work out and get bigger and that’s when I improved my eating. After getting big to the levels I wanted, I went back to one meal a day.
Now, on this ‘Can you cook’ question, should you ask women if they can cook?
I was following comments on a short video of a date where a man asks a lady if she can cook. And a few gals commented that ‘it is a lame question’…I also agreed with the lame part and ask the gals if they can actually cook.
The way to a man’s heart…
The way to a woman’s heart is through her nethers, while the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. The man who opens a woman’s legs opens her heart.
The woman who can satisfy a man’s hunger, definitely has his heart. It is something women know instinctively, apparently…that men who enjoy a well-cooked meal also seem to like sex.
I got that paragraph from a dating site I like reading. How much men like food and sex has been hammered into our brains for years.
How much women like a good pounding from a man after eating has also been programmed into us.
So what’s the deal with cooking…
Cooking is a skill, or an art, learned and passed down from generation to generation. The ability to whip up a delicacy is considered one of the most desirable skills in a woman or even a man.
In my culture, as a Luo man, when a woman goes to marry, it is phrased as “she went to cook”. That is exactly what we call marriage in our culture, especially for women, ‘tedo’, which means “cooking”, when a man marries, he ‘kendo’, which means “fireplace”.
This means cooking is a big part of marriage. So when a man asks you if you can cook, he is somehow asking if you can actually get married or if you are of marriage quality.
The funny part is that despite coming from such a culture, I don’t value cooking as a skill in a woman or even in myself. Yes, I do cook, but it is not something I screen for in a woman.
How to Use the “Can you Cook” Question
You can use it as a screening tool when you are on a date…if you ask a woman if she likes cooking and she agrees, you can deep dive further and ask her if she can cook her traditional dishes. Or if she has tried foreign delicacies, Chinese food or Mexican food, or west African food etc…
Find out how adventurous she is with food, ask her if she is also adventurous in other parts of her life, and if you find out likes trying new foodstuffs or spices.
If she tells you she can’t cook her traditional dishes, maybe tease her about it lightly. If she can cook, actually build on that.
It is a fun question for pushing the conversation forward. Even if she says she doesn’t like cooking as much or trying new dishes, you can check if she likes foreign drinks, French wine, Italian wine etc…if you have some of these in your mini bar at home, you can propose a nightcap.
If she likes cooking, you can propose a cookout sometime. You can collect the ingredients you need or ask her to collect a few spices on her way to your place and cook a meal together some time.
You never fail with a cookout date. It has the highest conversion rate.
If you can cook well yourself as a man, you went to culinary school, or there’s a foreign meal you can cook, you can also talk about it and propose to her that you would like to cook her that meal sometime.
When it becomes hostile…
Some city gals will tell you they can’t cook or don’t cook dismissively. Don’t bother them with cooking stuff, if she doesn’t like the idea of cooking, leave that conversation thread alone and talk about something else she likes, travelling, or drunk bowling, beer pong, or hiking.
Don’t engage in something she has no interest in. If you are just hooking up with a gal, it doesn’t matter if she can cook, for god’s sake.
It is actually a ‘lame’ question in such a context. It will be awkward to ask a gal you just met in a club, and you are dancing with, and you are trying to take home, if she can cook.
In such a club environment, focus on building sexual tension, eye contact, sexy smiling, dancing close, some touch, and escalate the vibe…forget about cooking and such things.
If you are on a lunch date, however, it is a good place for such a question.
The type of questions you ask a lady sets a certain precedent. If you start screening her on whether she can cook or make a good mother, asking her if she likes kids, etc., she might start thinking you want a wife. And she will start behaving like one…
If you are just looking for a fling or an FWB, who gives two shits about cooking in such an arrangement anyway? Talk of other things she’s into, like racing or video games, those are the kinds of things you can do with an FWB. Or she can be the dessert after your dinner, or she might be the buffet if she can’t cook.
Pour Conclure
Whether she can cook or not, what does it matter? If you want to marry her, focus on building similarity in other things you commonly share. She can always learn cooking in her spare time or get a maid to take care of that.
She can also use ChatGPT; my friend told me he’s been using GPT for recipes, and the food comes out just as delicious. This friend of mine was living with a gal a while back, and she was cooking some hot meals for him.
It was his first time living with a gal, and he really found it nice that she can cook, he even told us to stop living alone if we want to eat good food. Anyway, they broke up, and now ChatGPT replaced the gal as his cooking mate.
Nice Weekend,
Slade
