I love kids, it is beautiful to have some small humans running in the house to share your life with. Life is only beautiful when you share it with other people or when you are living for other people. If you’ve had an amazing life, you would want to share it with other people. However, not everyone feels the same way about kids. They don’t want children. Maybe they have had a tough childhood and thus don’t wish to bring kids into a “cruel” world.
A certain local celebrity said that he doesn’t like kids in a YouTube interview and people went crazy. They were wondering how someone cannot like a kid. I don’t understand how someone cannot like a kid. And just the same way as a straight man I don’t understand how a man cannot be attracted to women. However, I recognize that people are different and respect that difference. We come wired differently or we get socialized differently as we grow.
The guy who said he doesn’t like kids is young, probably in his mid-20s. At that age, don’t expect young men to want to be around kids. They also hold some radical views at that age. Give that young man some time. When he meets a loving caring woman who pushes the right buttons in him, he will change his mind and want to have children one day. These extreme emotional opinions tend to change as you age and gather life experiences. Are we sure that young guy doesn’t like his nephews, nieces, or little cousins? We are mammals and we can feel love unless you are devoid of empathy like a sociopath.
Most people who don’t like kids are also impatient and selfish I would say. Think about it, someone gave birth to you, taught you how to walk, talk, eat, read, write, and even taught you skills and now you are a productive member of the society. Now it is your turn to raise the new generation, it is your turn to pass the torch and what do you choose to do? Not like kids. I bet someone who doesn’t like kids also doesn’t like pets. Well, if you are a man and a lady tells you she doesn’t like kids, run away. That is not a girlfriend-quality woman. If she doesn’t like pets but she likes kids, it is okay but if she doesn’t like kids, she is a red flag. The same advice applies to women, if a man doesn’t like kids, run away. That is a bad father.
Kids are just kids. They do childish stuff which you were also doing as a kid. I was born a boy, I only learned how to be a man from other men like my father and mentors who took a shine to me and taught me what it is like to be a man. When I look at young kids, I would also want to teach them the awesome things I have learned as I grow up. It is a complete circle that has to spin or the world stops. Educating the youth to be better men or women is the work of society.
You don’t have to reproduce. It will be a great thing if you reproduce and give birth to the next generation of Kenyans, Americans, or South Africans. Pass your genes so that you don’t get weed out of the genetic pool. If you have great genes it will be great to pass them on. Who knows what your great-grandson will turn out to be? All these great men who changed societies were born and given a chance at life and greatness. That’s why we are here, enjoying the technologies and modernization brought by the great minds that existed and continue to exist. It is usually very sad when we see a great man or woman in society fail to reproduce because they have good genes and they can reproduce competitive offspring. It is a waste. Any man or woman who fails to reproduce has disappointed the human race.
Just look at you. You are awesome, you are educated, open-minded, and a productive member of society who contributes to the economy. Where do you think all that came from? Who gave you all that juice? It is partly your parents and the society you grew up in. It is nature and nurture. Your nature is your DNA, and your nurture is a collective group of people (teachers, neighbors, kind strangers who showed you love as child and raised you).
Who hurt you? If you don’t like kids I can’t keep but wonder what made you that way. What turned your heart cold like a stone? Did something happen in your childhood that messed up your psychology? Were you hugged enough as a child? Well, whatever happened, I think you need to get over it and move on. If you want to see the bad things in life and society, that is all you will see. If you choose to see the good things in this life, you will find beauty in everything. It is what you focus your energy on, that is where it flows. Focus on the positive, be the light bringer, not the dark triad.
Children. Aren’t they just cute? What is more beautiful than the chuckle of a child, and when it holds your cheeks with its little arms, it leaves a tender feeling in you? Have you ever carried a 1-day-old person, a 2-day-old person, or a week-old human? And then watch that little human grow into a man or a woman right before your eyes. That is a feeling no amount of money or wealth in this world can buy. I am a great writer but I can’t even put it in words. It is a feeling many wish to have but can’t. Have you ever seen men rocking chairs on their doors at 80 years wishing they had kids or men on their deathbeds wishing they had someone to call grandkids? Let me tell you, little kids, who claim to be child-free, when you are taking your last breath in this life, it is good to have your people around you giving you a loving farewell. That is the ultimate send-off. Don’t live like a dog and die like a mongrel with no people around. Let’s not go the Japanese route where they have cuddle cafes where you can go and hug a stranger who probably doesn’t have kids or relatives because people in that society don’t want to reproduce or to be in relationships.
You claim to have friends and they will bury you. Well, here’s the fucked-up thing I once heard someone say. It is brutal so be prepared for it. No matter how good of a friend you are or how great a friendship you have with someone, you won’t attend each other’s funeral. One person will die before the other and only one will attend the other’s funeral. So, it is probably only your kids and family that will be there in those last moments.
However, all said and done, if you don’t want children, don’t cherish your genes, or don’t want to continue the human race, if you truly don’t care about bringing some new people to this world, then don’t have them, you will be a bad father or mother. However, kids are a good thing to have, they are challenging to raise and will test you hard but when they grow and become good people in society, you will have succeeded as a parent.
I am not yet a parent but if you are already a parent and don’t like it. You thought it would be an easy ride but it is taking a toll on you. Take some parenting lessons and learn a few parenting skills, there is no manual for this but I know parenting coaches and I have even written content for them, they teach some great skills in parenting. One I know of is Carol, check her out and listen to her podcasts. With time you will surprise yourself with how great a parent you can become if you learn the fundamentals of proper parenting. Life is not that hard; you just have to figure out what works and what doesn’t work in whatever you want to achieve in this life. Your kids will survive. I was born in a house of grass, but I am here writing all these pure gems. I no longer live in a grass house, I am like the third little pig, I fuck with them bricks. The situation changed tremendously over the years. That I can assure you, things will always get better.
All the best with your parenting!
Your homie Slade.
