This is a fun fact, the greatest athletes that ever existed were not the first drafts.
Tom Brady was the 199th pick overall in his year of drafting. Drafted in the 6th round. Yet he has surpassed every player he was drafted with in 2000.
Kobe Brant was the 13th pick in his year of selection.
Michael Jordan and Steph Curry were equally not the first picks.
But what they achieved in their careers is phenomenal. They are undoubtedly some of the greatest athletes of our time.
Those are sportsmen and sports can be complicated, there are many dynamics at play. Nobody knows what your future looks like or how it will play out. Even if you have a clear picture of what you will end up like. You have a vision, goals, and direction you want your life to take but fate, destiny, and life being full of twists and turns can change your direction magically.
If those players ended up in different teams, with different coaches and different terms, you can’t really predict if they would have been that great. I suspect they would still be stars though. Tom Brady is just Tom Brady.
While dating, must you be her first pick among the many men who are wooing her? Or you can be Tom Brady? The fifth pick.
Dating is not football. It is like an election; you have to be her favorite candidate.
Otherwise, you are starting on the wrong footing. If you want something long-term and stable, you have to be the guy she likes.
You want to avoid a situation whereby she looks back and feels like she compromised or lowered her standard or settled for the second-best guy she could get as opposed to the first option. She might feel like she deserves better.
However, there is more nuance to this.
Let’s say her first choice doesn’t want her. Or her first-choice guy can’t lead, he is wishy-washy. He fumbles and pussyfoots around.
That way she ends up with another option. And she might just decide you can do it for her. That is very possible, especially for a fling.
You want all the love and affection she can give a man? Be her first choice or turn yourself into her first choice.
Be a stunning man who turns heads wherever he goes and she will notice you first in a crowd of men.
Come in as the first draft pick…here’s how.
Dress colorfully i.e. peacock – this makes you stand out.
Eat healthy and stay in excellent shape.
Take care of your skin and look vibrant.
Make strong eye contact and smile more to be warm like Bill Clinton.
Get a sexy hairstyle.
Grow some facial hair and well-trimmed beards.
Work on your voice, speak like a movie star.
Learn verbal game and good touch, and come across as dominant.
Work on your confidence.
This will boost your chances of being the first pick and remaining the first pick for the longest time. She should be happy with her choice all through the relationship or fling.
You can find yourself in positions or situations where you were not the first pick. It is not the end of life, as I stated earlier, Tom Brady and other athletes like Michael Jordan might not have been the first drafts but look at the results they achieved.
Sometimes she is wrong to overlook you for another guy who advertised himself better. Is it her fault or your fault? That’s hard to tell.
Maybe you are a diamond in the rough and you still need a little polishing and display to be noticed.
It is not enough to be a diamond, work on your marketing and get picked on the shelf among many other products. Be the top-shelf man and you will be picked first.
You have to earn her vote.
She also has to earn your vote.
I don’t want you moving around with the mind frame of “I hope she picks me as her first choice”, no, not at all. The right frame is “I hope I like her” and “I know she will pick me as her first choice if she is smart enough”. The latter is a better mindset for dating.
Sometimes she will overlook you for another man who seems more appealing to her or fits her desires better, that’s all good. Just work on yourself and be a better man overall, improve your edges and a more compatible woman you fit better with shall pick you as her first choice.
However, if she is to overlook you for another man and come back later on, don’t accept. Maybe I have an ego but if she is to pick someone else and you had also asked and she circles back to you when her first choice disappoints and you take her. It doesn’t say good things about you.
Don’t be okay with being number two, someone’s second option. It is like taking in something unwanted. The one that got away still holds the most power.
No one wants that position, it sucks. Her intuition knows or lizard brain knows you were not her first choice. She was not able to get whom she wanted and now she has to settle for a ‘lesser’ man in her eyes. No matter how awesome you are, she will feel like she lowered her standards a bit. This can be okay if she just wanted to get laid but for a relationship, it is a no.
If you want to know how bad being a second option is, just look at this scenario. Let’s say you see a group of girls, both looks hot and one is exactly your type. You open them up, get the conversation going and zero in on the one you are interested in, and make it clear that is what you want. Then at some point later it gets difficult with the one you wanted and you try to circle back to one of them. That is bad form and unless you are very skilled, it can be hard to pull that off.
The best direction in such a situation would be to seduce all of them as you gauge who is more into you and even let them compete for you until one wins and picks up that one. Or you could come in with a wingman to pair off with one of them so that everyone wins.
You won’t always know if you are the first choice or not, women have many guys chasing them and pinging them and they are evaluating these guys on the other hand without your knowledge. You won’t always know whom you are in competition with so don’t obsess about this. However, in scenarios where you are aware of the competition, be sure you are the first pick.
If a company is to hire and they settle on you, you can’t be sure you were the first pick, may their first choice want a higher pay than they could offer and they settled for you. I won’t advice that either, don’t be the cheaper option in business but if you really need work, maybe just go with it and turn yourself into a stellar performer, make them feel right for making that decision.
