Blue Collar Jobs in Kenya that Will Get You Laid Like a Monkey

Forget about the headline. I am not sure monkeys get laid a lot. Whereas white-collar jobs are likely to earn you a lot of money, blue-collar jobs are the go-to if you want to get laid. There is something about men who use their hands to work; it seems women prefer hand jobs (pun intended). Women like rough hands, if I can put it like that. That’s why guitarists and plumbers get laid like monkeys. They have a firm grip because of their rough hands; if they give a lady a tight squeeze on the butt, she feels it. Compare a guitarist’s grip to a web designer who works a cubicle job. It is not a comparison.

That introduction is thought-provoking enough; let me list out the jobs you might want to pick up if you want to pick-up some gals in this country.

Motorbike Rider

There is something about bikers that women can’t resist. These riders drive women crazy, women have riders on their phones to deliver them goods, and the riders deliver more than goods. They deliver goods properly!

I spoke to a chic, and she told me she has a rider she is fond of who brings her food and anything she needs past certain hours, I asked her if she has a guy like that also for her love life to deliver anything she might need past certain hours. She laughed, and I thought maybe the rider was that guy!

Boda boda guys, as much as I don’t like them for being rowdy, seem to have tons of fun in that job. A biker in my hood told me he had shagged several clients. The clients usually tell him “you have given me a good ride, let me also give you a ride like a bike.”

Fellas, do you need to be a biker to get laid? The critical thing here is to get a motorbike. If you are a white-collar lad, get a BMW motorbike and move around with it over the weekend. You will be surprised how many ladies need a ride out here.

On to the next one.

UBER Drivers

This is a deadly group that needs to be watched by the men. City gals in Kenya don’t have fares or can’t afford Uber rides and opt to pay it in other ways. Back in the days before Uber dominated the market, the matatu conductors used to get all the gals, but came Uber, and ladies love Ubering from one point to another. Whether they entice Uber guys or Uber guys to ask for alternative payment options is a million-dollar question. Anyway not all ladies can’t pay for Uber, but some prefer paying through favors.

On to the next one.


The men with cameras are a different breed. Gals will do anything for photos, and there is nothing women like a man who tells them what to do, “turn this way, look my way, give me a little smile”. Photographers are killing it out here; they end up telling these gals “remove your top”. If a gal wants some sexy photos that capture the right angles, she might get more than she asked for. Customer satisfaction.

Let’s keep on.


I was coming to them; they lay the pipe, as I have always said in this blog. If a man’s job is to lay the pipe, trust me, he can do that job like his life depends, lay pipe he will. Do you know which men are plumbers? Luhyas and Luo men. Enough said about men from those tribes.

Plumbers’ hands are rough, cut from the dirt, and if they are to hold a woman’s waist and pull them close, it is a grip to die for.

Tattoo Artists

These are lady killers. They tattoo your women and put their name on it. Have you ever seen a female tattoo artist? Nah, just men, young red-blooded men who like drawing thighs. My former neighbor used to be a tattoo artist, and he would always come with that pin to my house; I almost got inked. That aside, he told me there is no part of a woman’s body he has never drawn. He has inked every inch of the skin, even the most sensitive parts! Those men have a body count that would shame talented ladies’ men. They have touched more women than a gynecologist.

Gym Instructors

 Cardio, yoga, and Zumba instructors give your gals more than pain in the gym. They are cut, raw, and have muscles to pin these ladies on the wall. I have been working out since I was 17, have been around countless instructors, and am good at making these guys open up. I know they shag their female clients silly. Gals who work out also want men who look fit, and the man they can access quickly is the gym instructor for private lessons. A few of them are professionals, and a few females are fitness enthusiasts who want to work out, but many are vulnerable to seduction from instructors and vice versa. Besides, what is unprofessional about eating where you work? Nothing.

If you put men and women into a room and put the heat on and the sweat and rushing blood from the workout, you will likely end up with more than a gym session; it rapidly turns into a steamy session. A man’s testosterone also goes a little up during a workout.  It is just science, don’t blame these poor weak mammals for engaging in a biological act.

Massage guys

Tantric massage is quickly becoming popular in the city. Most people don’t get touched enough and must look for it elsewhere. Trust me, with the right touch, you orgasm. Don’t say you can’t get off from massage.

You can be touched.

Every massage video I have seen on IG or Tiktok is very deep, it is more than a deep tissue massage. It is a deep inside massage, the touch you won’t even allow a spouse to give you. Hairdressers and manicure guys used to have all the fun, but they don’t get to touch women the way these tantric massage guys do it. Those touches are very sexual.


What makes these blue-collar guys get laid quickly and more than the white-collar guys? The men in these jobs tend to be in good shape and are also sexy and, above all, attainable to most women. Guys in white-collar jobs are loaded and speak the queen’s English, and as much as women would make them wait for four dates, the guys in blue-collar jobs don’t have to do any of that. All they have to do is offer services they do for a living and get laid in the process. An Uber or a tattoo guy won’t take a lady on five dates; they don’t usually do formal dates. The date is at their workplace; it is a refreshing, different kind of date that quickly lead to sex.

I like blue-collar jobs; apart from getting men laid, they are also a good source of employment for the unemployed Kenyan youth!

Nice grinding

By Slade Jeff

I am a zen, I love this life plus a lot of wine..I will keep your days filled with interesting content. I am also pro-brands, I tell stories about them at a fair price, let me put in a good word for you. Contact me through for business.

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